“Have You Gone Crazy?” - Why I Chose a Home Birth

“Have you gone crazy?”

That was my husband’s first reaction when I told him I wanted a home birth.

To be fair… my first birth experience wasn’t exactly a glowing recommendation for childbirth in general, let alone at home.

It lasted 36 hours and almost ended in an emergency C-section. I had an epidural, and I really think that’s part of why it dragged on so much. But also because I just wasn’t opening. It was basically pain with zero progress. My body was like: nope, this baby is not exiting today.

After 36 hours, the midwives finally had to literally suction the baby out of me with a vacuum (Saugglocke is called in German)

So yeah… my husband imagining that same scenario happening at home wasn’t particularly appealing to him.

But I was convinced that so much of that first birth could have been avoided if I hadn’t been so stressed, scared, tense, and mentally paralyzed.

And I didn’t come to that conclusion on my own. I had help from a really wonderful book… a book about hypnobirthing.

I found hypnobirthing completely by chance. I opened a newsletter (yes, sometimes I do crazy things like actually read newsletters haha) and there was a little piece about hypnobirthing with a book recommendation. It sounded interesting, so I ordered it immediately.

By chapter 2 I had the realization that THAT was the kind of birth I wanted.

Which honestly made no sense, because I can’t even fully relax in a bubble bath with candles around me. My brain constantly has 20,000 thoughts fighting each other. But I gave it a chance.

And by chapter 4 I had another realization: not only did I want a hypnobirth… I wanted one at home!

So I basically went from considering a planned C-section to wanting a fully hippie home birth.

But honestly, my biggest fear was going through the same hospital experience again.

At that point I was already 6 months pregnant and thought: where on earth am I even going to find a midwife willing to do this?

But somehow the skies opened, luck was on my side, and the best midwife in the world happened to be available.

We arranged the first appointment at home.

And I only informed my husband once the whole thing was basically already decided.

When he reacted, I answered:

“I’m not asking for your opinion. I’m informing you this will be a home birth.”

Poor man had no choice 😂

I continued all my pregnancy checkups with my midwife at home. I still did the 3 ultrasounds with my gynecologist, and afterwards I informed her by email that I’d continue care with my midwife. Whether she liked it or not… no idea. Sending it by email felt safer.

Luckily, my pregnancy was completely healthy and uncomplicated.

As for the hypnosis part… well. During contractions I definitely did not enter some magical floating trance where I felt no pain. Not even close.

But I was much more relaxed.

Being at home helped so much. Knowing I didn’t have to count contractions and suddenly rush to a hospital helped too.

I called my midwife as soon as contractions started, even when they were still manageable. And once things started getting more intense, I told her: “Okay, come.”

I was in my bedroom. By the time she arrived I had already moved onto the birthing ball. My husband had gone to bring my older daughter to a friend’s house.

The midwife arrived quietly, calmly, almost silently. She listened to my belly. Didn’t touch me otherwise. No painful cervical checks while you’re dying through contractions. None of that.

Just by watching me, listening, and touching my belly, she already knew where I was at.

Then the strong contractions started, my water broke, and suddenly I understood why the midwife had put “painter’s fleece” on the shopping list.

Of course I hadn’t bought it because I thought:

“What?? I’m not giving birth on top of THAT thing.”

Well… turns out she knew what she was talking about, because my entire bedroom rug ended up flooded with amniotic fluid and had to be sacrificed to the birth gods.

Then came the pushing stage.

And I won’t go into details here, but let me just say: for me, it hurt like absolutely nothing else in this life.

Naively, I thought after two or three pushes the baby would just slide out. Everyone kept telling me: “Second babies come easier!”

Apparently I interpreted “easier” as… easy.

It was not easy.

At least not for me. I honestly don’t associate giving birth with the word “easy” in any form whatsoever. But every woman is different, and yes, there are women who push twice and the baby appears like magic.

The hypnosis/trance/no pain thing? Yeah… I didn’t even reach beginner level.

But it was still SO much better than my first hospital birth.

And much faster too. From the very first soft contractions until my daughter was born, it was only 10 hours total.

---

The hypnobirthing book I read is the one from the Mongan Method. I personally didn’t take any courses, although there are tons of them now, including online ones.

For me, the book already felt like a really good start. The breathing techniques and all of that were genuinely useful. But I do think a course probably would have helped too.

And about home birth: hypnobirthing isn’t only for home births. It absolutely can be done in hospitals too. But I do think the two make a lot of sense together.

There are also birth centers, which are kind of the middle ground between hospital and home birth.

One last clarification because lately there’s this trend of completely unassisted home births with no midwife at all. THAT honestly is crazy.

---

Would I do a home birth again?

Yes. Absolutely.

Not because it was magical or painless or because I suddenly became some earth goddess breathing through contractions in total peace.

But because for the first time, I felt safe. I felt respected. I felt like my body wasn’t being rushed or managed every second.

And even though birth was still hard - really hard - this time it felt like my experience instead of something happening to me.

So if you’re curious about hypnobirthing or home birth, I’d say: read, inform yourself, ask questions, and trust your instincts 😉

Roberta